I did it! I really, really did it!

Yesterday was RACE DAY.  Something I started on a unspoken challenge, and I DID IT.

It's been a wild, crazy ride but it was fun.

Let me back up a bit first, bare with me.  Our last weeks of classes rolled by and suddenly we were at the end, time is a sneaky thing.  I went along with training and felt pretty good with everything, I knew I wouldn't break any land speed records but I knew I had come along way from the first class.  I had a minor hiccup with an ear infection which landed me at the doctor's twice but I still felt good about it, it was an inconvenience but not that big of a deal.  The last class we did a practice "triathlon" and I am glad we did because I learned a few things that would come in handy.

I started the swim and was doing good, then I began to pay attention to the others in the pool, and not myself.  Big gulp of water and some aspiration, so coughing ensued.  Ever cough under water?  Not pleasant.  So I learned to only think about what I was doing, look at the line and concentrate on yourself.  Nothing good ever comes from being nosy!   The practice bike and run went as expected, so I knew I could do this and felt so good about it when I left.

We had a week between the end of class and the race, she gave us our instructions, train until Tuesday or Wednesday, take it easy on Thursday and Friday.  Hydrate, eat natural sugar and some carbs, that kind of stuff and said she would see us there.

Now I had a wild week, work was crazy,  but I did all she said.  Thursday morning I woke up and my leg itched and I had this bump, which I thought it was bug bite.  I went in the bathroom and looked, HUGE welts all over the backs of my legs, on further inspection the welts were all over the back of my body!  WTH?!?!  At first, I thought it was a stress reaction (I am anal after all), I have had stress reactions in the past, but usually I reserve them for births and deaths.  As the day wore on, it got worse, one on the bottom of my right foot actually hurt so bad, I had a hard time walking.  I was freaking out.  After much thought, I realized it was not a stress reaction but a reaction from the Amoxicillian I was taking for my ear infection.  Even if you have taken Amoxicillian 100 times you can develop an allergy the 101st time and apparently this was what was happening to me.  So it was Benadryl time, every 4 hours like clockwork, Oatmeal/Epsom Soak and then bed. Friday morning I woke up and my eye felt funny.  The hives were better on my backside, but had now moved to the front of my body, new welts on my thighs, tops of my feet and my face.  One huge one on my right eye and on my ears.  I am like "What fresh hell is this?!"  Benadryl again every 4 hours and by 2:00 pm, it caught up with me, I was a zombie and just plain high, but they were getting better so I suffered through the zombieness. Took a bit of a catnap for about an hour and by 06:00, I was feeling better.  Decided to lay off the Benadryl for the rest of the night and hope it worked.

Got my gear all checked over, made sure my bike (all 34 lbs of it) was in order and loaded it up.  Lost my car keys, had a panic attack over that, found them and felt foolish for freaking out.  Bathed the 4 yr old, got his clothes ready and it was time for bed.  Got it in bed, said a prayer and prepared to sleep.  NOTHING happened, no sleep for me.  To keyed up.  So I laid there forever and eventually dozed off.  0500 am happened way to quick and it was go time and my hives were mostly better, so YAY for that.  Had some coffee, made some breakfast, knew I couldn't eat it,  so I packed it with the plan of eating in the car.  Composed myself and got my clothes on, left last minute instructions with hubby about care of previously mentioned 4 year old and I was off.

Got to Y and there were already some people there, getting ready, I looked around and I thought, "Holy SH&T, I am really doing this!"  The next hour or so flew by, I alternately felt excited and sick the whole time.  Met this really nice lady, named Kathy, who was in transition next to me, and she helped me figure out what I was doing.  It was her 2nd tri, so she was a little more experienced than me.  Before I knew it, it was meeting time and then we were lining up to go.  My start time was 0838 am, and when I first saw that I thought it was going to drag, but it didn't.  I got my good luck kisses from my baby and then time FLEW.  We watched the swimmers as they made their way through and then it was my turn.

At that moment, I heard nothing, and I saw nothing but the water in front of me and I knew I had this.  I started and I was confident, all I saw was the water in front of me, only heard the sound of my bubbles and I went.  My husband tells me I passed people, I don't remember that at all, all I saw was line on the bottom of the pool.  About half way, a young boy passed me, which was fine, but then he slowed way down, and then his foot hit me in the head.  Every time I tried to go around him and the swimmers in front of him, I couldn't because there was someone coming.  Frustration ensued, I literally growled under water, I picked my head and looked around looking for another way around and nothing, so I sucked it up and just kept trying to pass, never could find a way  around. At the end, there was serious bottle necking and rather than waste my energy I just stood up and waited, apparently I was pretty pissed about it, because Adrian said I threw my arms up.  I remember looking at Tonya and Rich and telling them I couldn't get around, and them telling it was OK, just keep going,  but I don't remember throwing my arms in the air.

Out of pool and on my way, I am still pissed, but I see Adrian and hear my friend Lori screaming and it is alright again.

In the transition, I get ready, I don't even dry off, I have to waste precious seconds putting on my gloves because my bike is heavy and I pull hard on it and it will tear the skin of my palms if don't wear them, ( happened before) and I still have some hives on my palms and they are sore and itchy too, that morning I contemplating  not wearing them, but made the executive decision that I needed the protection or will be miserable if I don't, so I put them on, throw on my helmet and shoes and am off.

I dread this bike ride because I know how heavy my bike is and how hard it is going to be, but I persevere and make a joke with the traffic cop about how the ambulance with the lights on makes me paranoid.  I pedal my heart out, but I know I need to save some energy for the hills coming up. I begin reciting a cadence on a 4 count, "I hate this bike", it keeps on me on a rhythm that serves me well.  I get to the first hill, it is not steep but it is steady and long and I know it is the hardest for me because I have done it before and it is the one that always gives me trouble.  Half way up I decide I am stupidest person alive and I am never doing another Tri again.  I curse myself a thousand times for not getting a road bike.  I get up the damn thing and I see cars getting ready to turn so I tell the volunteers to let them go, because I need a second to let my feet touch the ground and get a drink.  They ask if I am OK, and I tell them yes, I just need a second, I count to 30 in my brain as I drink and I am off again.  I keep it steady because I know there are 2 more hills coming and I need to be ready, I get up them slow and steady, doing my best and I even pass someone on the second one, I am kind of impressed by that.  I know after the second one, it is the last big challenge for me, the rest is just miles and I am about half way done.  I got this, I am no speed demon, but I am consistent.  I know if I shred myself on this 34 lb bike, I will have nothing left to run with.   As I come down the last stretch, I decide it's not that bad and I would do another one and that hey this is kind of fun, then I remember I have to run.....

I come down the entrance and I am worried I am last, there are people loading up their gear to go home.  I even ask "Am I the last?"  Then I see my cheering section, my hubby, my son, Lori, Abby, Tonya, Rich and my in laws and I am OK with being last because they believe in me and I realize the rest is just details.  Give Tonya a high five and get to the dismount line.  I get off the bike and I am a little jelly legged but I feel OK, my heart is full.

I literally throw my helmet on the ground and I throw my baseball hat on my head and grab my water bottle and I am off again. I am still a little wobbly and I know it will take me a minute to get my "sea legs" so I just start off slow.  I increase a bit and keep consistent pace, as my personal goal was to run the whole thing with no walking.  I am not fast, I am slow,  and I know it but I keep going.  I am amazed at all encouragement of the people who are coming down when I am going up, it actually makes me smile and I pretty much keep the smile the whole time.  It is hot, but what is some more sweat at this point?  I get to the aid station turn around and see the kids there, I get the water and pour it over my head and tell them, "I worried about being last, but I realize I don't even care anymore."  They were so cute, "You are awesome, you are doing better than we would", I know they have said this a million times today and I don't care, I am happy.  I pick up my pace a bit, and I see the man I spoke to at the pool, he is in a wheelchair, he has just swam and and hand biked and is doing it.  I ask him if he is OK and he says he is, I tell him he is awesome and keep going.  I am at the last bend when I see Martin, he took the class with me, and he has to come to check on me, my heart is even more full now, he and his wife are just plain GOOD people and he wanted to cheer me on, he runs with me(after he has already run his race) until we get to concrete and stops at his wife, who at this point is just screaming my name, giving me encouragement and telling me to go,  and I go, giving it every thing I have left, and I get across the line, it is so quick, I almost miss it. I know I am almost one of the last finishers but I do not care, I finished what I started.   Much encouragement, congrats and high fives and then I see him,  the little blond boy who stole my heart 4 years ago, and he is crying, he runs to me and I just sit with him in my lap right there on the concrete and hold him and talk to him.  He has been miserable all morning, they thought he missed me, and he was hot and tired.   Turns out he wanted to race WITH me.  When I explained it was for grown ups, he said, "I would ride on your back."  You know what?   I would of done it, carried that 50 lb, 4 feet tall little boy with me, if I knew he wanted me to.

So that was my journey.  In my life I have done a lot of things, some good, some bad but this...this is definitely in the top 10 of the things I am most proud of.  To some: they may say "It is just a mini sprint, why are you so proud?" To them I say,   I am proud because: 

I discovered how much I am truly capable of.  

I discovered that there is truth to the saying: "if you want it bad enough and work for it, it will happen." 

I discovered that my cheering section is awesome.  

I discovered that I am loved. 

I discovered that even though you are in competition, there is still room for encouragement. 

 I discovered that my husband believes in me. 

 I discovered that my little boy thinks I am Superwoman and that he believes I could carry him on my back for 11 miles.  

I just get it now.                                                                                                                        

Until next time.

Grandparents: The people who replace your parents

My son loves his grandparents.  Plain and Simple.  I do too,  for that matter.  They are wonderful people who have taught him so much.  He only has one set, my parents both passed away so I guess that is why I feel strongly about him spending time with them.  My husband swears they are not the same people who raised him, they have been replaced by some sort of aliens who give him anything he wants!  He says, "I don't know who they are, but they are not the same people who raised me."  It is probably true, they would of never allowed my hubby to DUMP the toy box out and string toys from one end of the house to the other or eat ice cream in living room.  I guess that is why grandparenting is so much fun, you don't get the blame for spoiling the child, the parent do. How many times have you heard, "his grandparents spoil him so much and let him do whatever he wants"?

 Never.

Never ever.

Nope, not ever.

They teach him so much, spend time with him, let him roll around in the sand, dig in the dirt, and be a little boy and I am thankful for that.    I did this project on Easter Sunday, it took like 30 minutes and they will have these forever.

This is my favorite.

3 Generations. Nana, Papaw, Daddy and J
 Jordan has pollen all over his hands from playing with the spring blooms.

I had a good relationship with my grandparents, I was always at their house and learned a lot from them and have many fond memories of them.  I was 12 when they passed away (3 weeks apart) and to he honest it did leave a void in life, I missed them terribly and still do.  I do not have one picture of myself with them, not one, so I wanted to do this for them and him.  Hubby also loved his grandmothers, he lived right next door to one, so needless to say he was always at her house, he still speaks frequently of them, so this project was close to both our hearts.

Until next time.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Phew, that was one busy holiday week!  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, very relaxed and subdued.  We ate ourselves into a Turkey Coma then had some pie to top it off.  Everything was wonderful and we had such a good day.  

Then it was time to finish decking the halls.  Now those who know me, know my house fairly pukes Christmas cheer.  I put up 5, yes, 5 Trees of various sizes throughout my home.  I love Christmas!  I did have to cheat a bit and start early this year though, I have a 4 year old so you have to work when you can.  He did have a wonderful time "helping" this year.  He is going to be so much fun on Christmas this year.  He has finally got the whole present thing and totally enjoys it.  Then of course I had to take his holiday picture in his Christmas outfit.  He didn't really enjoy that but he was a pretty good sport and I did get a few that I was quite proud of.

 

 I loved the ones with the trees.  He did too, because he got to touch any ornament he wanted to. He was not happy however when I made him sit in the foyer.  His expression confirms that he was a bit mad at me.  I love the darker                                                      look of this photo, reminded me of

                                                 candlelight.

 I also had the opportunity to  photograph one of my favorite families.  They have 9, yes, NINE dogs and  wanted them in the family portrait too.    Hard work let me tell you.  They also  have several other different kinds of  animals, pigs, chickens, ducks, cats and  probably a few things I missed.  It is  like they have their own personal petting zoo!    I was hoarse when I left there, because I had to make all sorts of funny noises to get them to look at me and not the squirrels!  It was a bright sunny day, which sometimes is a challenge, but I managed to get quite a few shots I was pleased with.  They loved them and that is all that counts.  My hoarseness was totally worth it.

The Roots and their pups
All of these are rescued dogs

Darla, 1 year pit, such a sweetie.
She is a rescue.

Told you they had a pig.  Shadow.

After that, we had another big event here.  Jordan's 4th Birthday!  November is the month of birthdays in my family, my husband, goddaughter, both of my brothers and my son were all born in November. So we celebrate one a week, literally.  This was the first year Jordan really "got" that it was his birthday and he was so excited.  I had to peel him off the ceiling a number of times.  He was a having a small party at his favorite pizza place with the family, but before that we gave him a choice of what he wanted to do, with me and his Daddy and his choice?  Go to Kmart!  I don't know why, but that is where he wanted to go so that is where we took him, I needed some soap so it worked out for me.  He picked out his toy and was a happy little man.  Then of course we headed to his favorite place for pizza and he got all his presents and his cake.  His Great Aunt Katherine made him a "dinosaur banilla cake" per his request.  He of course, couldn't keep his fingers out of the icing.  It was his cake so I didn't say much.   He had such a good time and it gave me a lump in my throat to see him so happy and excited. 

If you look close,
you can see little fingerprints

See? Told you, he kept poking it.

Even though it was a wild, busy, holiday weekend it was wonderful.  I am so blessed to have an awesome family and friends to share it with.


Until next time.

A little Thankfullness on Thanksgiving

Me and my mom, I was just a few weeks old.

This week is Thanksgiving and while it is a festive time of the year, it is also a bit sad for me.  A year ago, my Mom passed away.  She fought the fight for a very long time and did a very good job but in the end the Carcinosarcoma won.  While I was sad she was gone, I was also at peace with her passing, because I knew she was ready.  She never did anything that she didn't want to and she lived life on her own terms so I knew when she passed away, it was on her terms as well.  Thanksgiving was at her house last year and ALL of us were there, for the first time in many, many years all of her children and grandchildren were in one room for a holiday and I think she was happy with that.  The next week, she passed away quietly in her bed, in her house where she wanted to be.  

I am thankful for the time I had with both of my parents, they helped shape me into who I am today.  I am, who I am in part because of both of them.  The relationship we had was just that, our relationship, it was unique to both of us and different from anyone else's.  Good, bad or indifferent, it was ours.

I think I got several things from my mom, she was an avid gardener, she liked flowers much more than people I think, you could often find her in her garden, dirt all over her, with a coffee cup in her hand (it didn't matter if it was 25 or 100 degrees, she drank coffee!).  I am also an avid gardener, can often be found in my yard with dirt all over me, though no coffee, I only drink that in the morning.  I also think she passed on a love of photography to me as well, she took tons of pictures, my whole life.  We each have tons of photos she took of us as kids and adults.  She bought me my first camera in fact, when I was 11, and I took bunches of photos.  That was in the day when you sent your film off to be developed and had to wait for it to come back, I remember how excited I was when they came in the mail!  I even have those photos, they are in a album in my attic.   She worked as a printer for years so she was very good at color selection, placement, lighting and composition of subjects.  It amazed me she could look at a color and tell you what different color combination made that particular color.  She learned in the day before computers, she did it all by hand and by sight and that to me is amazing.   

Both of my parents passing made me realize how important it is to take a breath and take the time to preserve the memories in some way or another, because that is all I have left of them, is pictures and memories. In my life, my camera and/or phone sits on the counter, ready to capture the funny face or special moment that makes me get a lump in my throat.  Like Jordan, being a doctor at the "hobstable" (hospital) when his Daddy has a cold, taking his temperature, and listening to his heart beat and helping him feel all better.  This is also why I make my family do a formal family portrait every year.  My biggest regret is not having one last photo of my siblings and I, our spouses, our children and our mother together.  So every year in the fall, I make my family take one, because Jordan will only be this age once.  Whenever my siblings and I are all together, I make them take one as well, because it is rare when we are all in the same place at once so I torture them too!  It's important to me and even though they grumble, I think one day they will be happy we did it, if not, our kids will at least get a good laugh out of it.

So while this time of the year is happy, it is also bittersweet, but again I am thankful for the time I had with her and I know she is at peace.  I am also thankful for the things she taught me, and for how she helped shape me into to who I am.

Happy Thanksgiving Mom, I miss you!

Mom at Christmas, saying "Cheese"

My mother's family.  They have very few photos of all of them
together,  so this is very special to all of them.